Natasha Hamilton, 41, reveals splitting from the five fathers of her children led to the ‘sickest, darkest feelings she’s ever felt’ but admits she’s ‘learned from her bad decisions’

Atomic Kitten star Natasha Hamilton is again with a solo pop profession and a brand new single, Fringe of Us.

As a mom of 5, she has at all times put her household first, however now it’s her time to shine — and he or she’s feeling empowered and able to do issues her approach.

Talking on this week's subject My Dirty Laundry PodcastNatasha, 41, mirrored on her private life in a uncommon interview and mentioned the breakdown of her previous love life left her feeling the 'worst and darkest emotions I've ever felt in my life'.

However he mentioned it was unbelievable to 'study out of your unhealthy selections' and study to guard your self.

Natasha is mum to son Josh, 20, together with her former bodyguard Fran Cosgrave, Harry, 18, with actor Gavin Hatcher, Alfie, 12, with ex-husband Riyad Erraji, Ella, eight, with boyband star Ritchie Neville, and Kitty, nine-month-old with husband Charles Homosexual.

She mentioned: 'We're a blended household and generally I really feel like individuals don't perceive how one can make successful of one thing that appears completely different or chaotic from the skin.

'They only don't perceive what they don't know, however I'm sitting right here with 5 superb youngsters and my life is continuous, thriving and getting higher, regardless of the trauma I've gone via in my private life.

“Did I ever need something like that? After all I by no means did! God, you're loopy! Like, ever wanting one thing like that for you – however I can't reside up to now.”

'I’d by no means say I want it hadn't occurred. I don't wish to smash my life. Every part has made me the girl I’m as we speak.

'I'm in all probability extra accepting than most individuals as a result of I've been via quite a bit. I don't decide anybody based mostly on their scenario. By no means.

'I decide individuals by how they deal with me. , the way you present respect to individuals, like they're vital issues.'

Speaking about his new single he mentioned: 'If you're going via a breakup, from my expertise, it's in all probability essentially the most susceptible and the bottom you’ll be able to really feel.

'You get that kind of knotty feeling in your abdomen the place you realize it’s important to stroll away, however you may have a lot to lose.

“You may need a home, a toddler, a marriage. You’re feeling such as you're going to lose all the things.”

'It's the saddest, darkest feeling of my life once I'm strolling away from somebody, particularly after a divorce or particularly after a wedding breakdown.

'However popping out of that darkness felt actually empowering, as a result of for me, for the primary time, I needed to discover ways to take care of myself.'

Talking about what she has learnt from her previous, she mentioned: 'I'm not searching for anybody else to come back alongside and be my hero and elevate me up, I'm dwelling life their approach – so in the event that they depart once more…

'I'm on the ground once more and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm having to relearn what to do and I feel I've let my insecurities or my insecurity in myself take maintain.

'I seemed for a companion in my life, an individual who may push me and make me really feel robust. And that took me some time.

'However I realised that until I determine it out for myself, determine it out for myself, search for any individual else, look inside myself, see my weaknesses, see my incorrect selections and settle for my errors and say, “It's OK that I didn't get it proper, however how can I make it higher transferring ahead?”

'All of life is an expertise and even with the perfect intentions issues can go incorrect. So for me this was a tune that will contact the heartbreak but additionally present that I'm okay and also you'll be okay too.

'You possibly can go away, you’ll be able to reside in squalor and nonetheless thrive sooner or later.'

Natasha mentioned that she had talked to her youngsters earlier than coming into the limelight and he or she could be very protecting about her youngsters.

She mentioned: 'I'm very open with my youngsters. And even earlier than I got here into this mission, I sat them down and mentioned, “Look, I wish to discuss to you since you, mother, have by no means been within the highlight like this earlier than. And other people might say sure issues to you or change your angle. You might hear one thing you don't like”.

'”Somebody can say one thing about me. However it’s important to keep in mind that it’s only a hearsay and it has no bearing on me otherwise you. We all know the reality. We all know who we’re. So keep constructive, keep robust.

'And if there's something, if one thing's happening, come to me and we'll focus on it after which we are able to work on it.'

As a result of they simply see me as a mom, they love me and adore me and I can think about if one thing was mentioned or they heard one thing, they might be actually upset. And that's what bothers me, that half about going again.

Generally it seems like they've been thrown into the road of fireplace a bit. However that's what I do and that's what I do greatest.

So, we've talked, I've talked to them extensively, you realize, during the last a number of years anyway and the youngsters simply, they're blissful, they're supportive, they're excited.'

Natasha Hamilton, Fringe of Us, is out now.

You possibly can hearken to the total My Soiled Laundry podcast interview right here by clicking: Here