Reclaim the joy of living

After living through a complicated, traumatic life experience, it’s hard to start over. These are the moments when it is difficult for the person to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. of course, Trauma affects us on an emotional level And anyone who finds themselves going through such a situation finds it difficult Regain the joy of living, Happiness, the will to continue. But it is possible and there are techniques that can help us, as we are going to summarize with the help of an expert.

How does trauma affect us?

In its opinion Rodrigo Guria Cordova, Psychologist at the Institute of Interaction and Personal Dynamics (www.institutodeinteraccion.es), trauma can have a profound effect on our health, especially on our mental health, and can create feelings of anxiety, mistrust and insecurity. “They feel a certain instability in our daily life. And from a person-centered perspective, what is recommended in this case is to recognize and validate the feelings, try not to reject our experience, as feeling isolated, with ourselves and others. Also, it usually makes the healing process difficult, unacceptable,” he elaborates.

Coping with the stages of grief

Grief is a reaction to loss – which can be very varied – and this reaction can manifest itself in different ways, it goes through different stages. “Usually we tend to reach a Very deep sadness, confusion, anger…It’s so important to be ourselves authentically, without pressure, without a narrow sense of what it means to get over it or the time we need to spend on our own process to feel better. It usually varies. There are moments where you start to feel better, regain your spirit and there are days in which you fall again, where you feel sad again, out of place, you miss…”, instructs the psychologist. Carrey, who added that loss can last a long time, although we can get used to it and live with joy and happiness. “We just have to give loss and sadness a place,” he says.

What is the most common reaction after a traumatic experience?

According to the expert, this is an aspect that depends on each individual and how we approach life. “It usually varies a lot. But it’s usually what happens after a traumatic experience or loss Denial, anger, sadness and anxiety. And sometimes this can be expressed as if we feel completely detached from the experience, as if we have cut ourselves off, so to speak, from the event. It’s also very common,” explains Rodrigo Gurrea.

Therefore, according to him, what is very important is that we have a safe space and support when these experiences occur, which allows us to face these emotions. “When that kind of relationship or connection is made, it makes healing and progressing much easier. It involves accepting reality as it is, accepting that it’s happening, and seeing how we deal with it. Obviously it’s not easy, It’s the need of the hour. We also tend to avoid sadness or anger or these emotions I mentioned, which are uncomfortable and we’re very used to rejecting them socially,” he elaborated.

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The importance of giving yourself time

What we remember in this process of regaining the joy of living, is that when faced with grief, there is no fixed moment, no deadline for recovery. “Every person is unique and irreplaceable and also Its process is unique, irreplaceable And it depends on many factors. It depends on the type of trauma you have suffered, your level of support, your values ​​and faith. That’s why it’s so important Explore yourself and know yourself And it can help the person recover more quickly from a state of deep sadness or from experiencing grief in a negative way, which can be crippling. But there is no fixed time,” the psychologist clarified.

“I think it’s very subjective and relative. Despite being well, there are probably people who still have open grief and many years have passed. That doesn’t mean they’re not well or that they can’t experience happiness or joy. But There are some things that he still does not fully understand or he has not yet faced them and shuts down,” says the psychologist.

Do extreme situations help us discover our strengths?

Everything should not be viewed through the prism of negativity. Traumatic experiences, on many occasions, help us discover our strengths. Psychologists think so. “Without a doubt, these situations are usually revealing Inner strength we didn’t know we had. Suffering, adversity, usually develops our resilience and self-understanding. If you notice, what we do is like self-discovery, so to speak. We see parts of ourselves that we haven’t experienced and then we are given huge opportunities to grow. I would also tell you to accept the volatility. I believe that with this point of loss and grief, the most important thing is to be able to understand that as humans we will always be limited by many things, our own physicality, existence itself. But above all we must understand that everything is finite. Everything in this world, as it is, ends and is something natural. The concept, therefore, is Open yourself to experience the here and nowTo live in the present, realizing that sooner or later everything we live and share is going to end,” he adds.

Is it possible to restore the joy of living?

When we ask the psychologist this question, his answer is very clear: “Without a doubt. You can regain the joy of living.” It is not an easy task in many cases, yes. “It takes time, it takes effort, it takes a lot of openness and acceptance, but yes, it can be done. When you face yourself, you realize that there is something inside that is imperishable, so to speak. And from there you Start living more mindfully, with more presence. And if you understand that life is eternal and being able to understand that everything we live is eternal, it can help us a lot to live more intensely, happily and with less anxiety, to let go of what does not serve us, “he elaborated.

Useful tips to regain happiness

Finally, we asked the expert for the key: advice that will help us regain our will to move forward, to be happy.

• First, you have to give yourself permission feel deeply. That is very important.
• Don’t pressure yourself Don’t judge emotions And, above all, don’t reject them. When we deny our emotions, they eventually become ghosts that haunt us and lead us to live with a fear that is usually unsustainable, usually paralyzing us.
• don’t stop Share how we feel. Finding family members or seeking professional help is usually very important. Being able to share thoughts and feelings helps us re-establish ourselves.
• practice Mindfulness, Be present, be here and now. Realize that despite everything we feel, if we give ourselves a moment to be present, we realize that right now, when we are in the present moment, usually nothing bad is happening. This usually works very well.
• Reflect on what we have. We lose everything, but we have to appreciate what we have. And we can show gratitude. It helps us change our perspective and focus on the positive here and now and the positive above all.
• Another thing that can help us a lot self care. Exercising, eating well and getting a good night’s rest help us deal with these phases where our energy is usually at a low level and when we have a very deep sense of confusion.
• It is very important Live with peace of mind, At your own pace, without comparing yourself and above all, without demanding yourself. A need is something that drives us to live by discouraging it.
• Finally, Share more such experiences. “I recommend that you open up, because it is very difficult to find people who teach us to live calmly in the moment of death or loss, even though it is the only thing we know from birth. The only thing you know when you come into this world is that at some point You are going to die and everything in between is already an experience, but you know for sure that it will be very positive for all of us to be able to dedicate a moment for each other for such experiences to question how we want to live them and to let go of isolation. a Great tool,” he concludes.